t-time

So, after the boy man I’ve been dating royally pissed me off today, I was complaining to my mother about what happened and she said, “You know. You should write down all the men you’ve been involved with. Write down everything about your relationship with them, because you keep dating the same type of men. And it’s not getting you anywhere.”

Which is true. I do keep dating the same type of men. The funny part is, I date the men who try to talk to me. I don’t believe in stepping to dudes. I feel if they are interested they will holla.

The other thing is, I usually know after a first date whether something will work with a guy or not, but on occassion (okay many times) will give a second shot to and sometimes become involved with someone I had a “feeling” wasn’t right for me. This “feeling” isn’t usually based on anything substantive (even thought sometimes it is) but like my mother I’m very intuitive, so even if everyone else thinks the guy is great for me..I know otherwise.

At some point in your life, if you keep dating different guys and getting the same results, you got to stop bitching about the men and start looking at yourself. I don’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong (that could be the case) but, like me, you’re just dating the wrong man for you. Now obviously since I keep dating the same type of guy, there is something that these men all have in common that I like.

So what are the qualities that most of the men I date posses:

1. Intelligence. Don’t like dummies, even though I’ve dated a few (okay they weren’t dumb just not as smart as I like) but most of my men have been pretty intelligent.
2. Good Looking. Most of the men I date are universally good looking and some (okay many) drop dead gorgeous and fine…by anyone’s standards. I like a good looking man. What can I say?
3. Arrogance. I’m a bit arrogant. I like a little arrogance in my men.
4. Ambition. They tend to all be extremely ambitous. There are some exceptions but for the most part they dream big and work hard.
5. Men’s Men. Many of the men I date can be described as Alpha males. They are the “leaders” in their respective circles. The one’s all the guys wanna be like and all the women want to be with. Not all my guys have fallen into this category, but many of them have.
6. Extremely Sexual. I don’t mind.
7. Funny. They tend to all have pretty good senses of humor.
8. Generous. Many of the men I’ve dated have been generous with their time and/or money.
9. Chauvinist. Admittedly many of the men I date come from the school of thought that there is Man and there is Woman. And each has their place.
10. Traditional. This sort of goes with the chauvinist, but many of the men I date you could say believe in traditional divisions of labor and hierarchy in a family.

To use an overused term, some would say I’m addicted to Swagger. Perhaps. But I like the men who can walk the walk, not just talk the talk. The funny part is, they like me too but they don’t know to treat me. Or we just simply don’t get along. Either 1 of 2 things happens:

1. You wanna wife me, but the price of entrance is just too high. It’s a “You do what I tell you, when I want you to do it but don’t expect me to be there when I need you,” type of relationship.
2. I think you’re great but I really like high maintenance, conceited chicks (even though I say I want a sweet, down home girl) and you’re not that. Oh and b/c of that bod you have, you’re my sexual fantasy so I really can’t make you my girlfriend BUT when that chick I left you for does me dirty or I realize she isn’t anywhere near as good for me as you are I’m gonna come crying, whining, begging, pleading back in hopes that you’ll forgive me and take me back.

Now. Obviously I’m doing something wrong. What I’m still not sure. But I’d advise anyone who finds themselves in my situation to do what I’m doing: Stop. Take notes. And see where you’re going wrong. You may not come up with any answers right away, but it will at least make you more conscious of your choices in men and (hopefully) help you find one that is best suited for you.

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