t-time

I’m in a pseudo long distance relationship, by pseudo I mean we are not exclusive. And we’re not exclusive because of the distance. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to stop seeing other people since I’m not in the city. And while I’m currently not seeing anyone else because of other commitments and time constraints, I do plan on dating as well when my situation changes a bit.

However, this does bring up interesting points of conflict. He’s very honest. If I ask what he has been up to, he will tell me. But lately I’ve been none to pleased that he’s seeing other people, no matter casual the hook-ups are. But if I was to be honest with myself, I don’t know if I’m upset b/c he’s seeing other people or if I’m upset that he’s seeing other people and I’m not. He admitted to me as well that he often asks himself, “What is she doing up there?” and not really wanting an answer to that question.

I’m not sure how all of this is going to pan out. I don’t know if we can keep up with the distance between us. I don’t know how we proceed if neither of us wants to be “official” with a distance between us. Going with the flow is the easy answer but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know where the flow was going.

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